Growth inevitably means change. For most of us, change signals a deep, dark fear of everything going terribly wrong. This fear of commitment to change holds most people in a state of complacency - i.e. it’s not that good but it’s not that bad. Complacency breeds resentment, stagnation and slowly sinks you into a dark hole that feels impossible to dig yourself out of.
Most of us lead complacent lives because we’ve been socially groomed to not ask questions or set lofty goals for ourselves. We are trained either explicitly or implicitly through parenting that to be “good” we have to do what we’re told, appreciate what we have and be grateful - even if that means putting blinders on and pretending you’re eating a juicy steak when it’s really a McDonald’s hamburger.
When you attempt Buti for the first time, it’s common to think:
- F*ck this
- Who does Bizzie think she is?
- No one can ACTUALLY do this OR
- I’m too ___________________ [insert your brutal and totally inaccurate self-critique here] .
The cold hard truth is that MOST of the women you now see rising into leadership positions in Buti once started out feeling the same frustrations.
Growth isn’t supposed to be easy or passive. You have to be active in your attempts to create sustainable change and willing to walk tall and stay committed even when the world feels like it’s out to get you. When you can only make it 5 minutes into a workout, is it someone’s “fault” or is it simply a physical indicator of work that needs to be done on the bucket list of your growth game? If something is challenging, it should be an exciting message to your brain that it’s time for growth.
In Break Method, we teach students to isolate their Source Belief - i.e. the belief that was accidentally created and hardwired into your brain during childhood through exposure to your emotional environment.
The top 3 most common are: I’m not good enough, I’m not safe unless I’m in control or Everyone always abandons or rejects me. If you take a quick look at the "who," "why" and "how" of your current life, do you see any of these completely illogical and unfounded beliefs at work with your decision making? These beliefs are the same beliefs that are probably making you quit on yourself before you’ve even really started.
So here’s what I need you to know: I want you to commit to your growth game AND back it up with action. I know it might be the first time you’ve ever let your guard down and TRUSTED the process but I know Butisattvas and you are in the best place possible to see your growth game through to the finish line.
I wanted to map out a process of growth for those of you that tend to shut down before they ever even get to step 1. Step 1 requires brutal honesty and personal responsibility. Today’s media efforts try to get people paralyzed by making them believe they are a victim of their surroundings, and while this is true in specific instances, MOST of us have the ability and support systems with groups like Buti to roll up our collective sleeves and get to work on personal growth. I believe ANYONE can completely transform their lives it just takes commitment, courage and support.
The types of growth we are all about to accomplish range from mental and emotional shifts to physical and physiological. Wherever you feel the most resistance [or anger / fear] is where you START.
The Phases of Growth
- Acknowledge discomfort without placing blame [yes this means taking personal responsibility]
- Link up with a crew that supports you + will also hold you accountable
- Be courageous in your attempts to break through current barriers
- Set tangible and realistic goals to measure your growth [+ commit these to paper]
- Celebrate your growth game with your crew + be aware of those around you that didn’t want you to grow
When our lives begin to transform rapidly, we start to feel the friction of those who feel left behind or jealous of our growth. Here’s the quick cheat sheet on how to deal with them:
- Be prepared to experience this and NOT take it personally. If you can stand tall AND be kind and patient with those around you who don’t understand your growth, they will one day come around and ask what the secret is.
- Take notice of the people who only want to be around you when you’re struggling or stuck. These are relationships that are likely subconsciously called in to feel like you’re: not good enough, not safe unless you’re in control or that everyone abandons or rejects you. When you shift the dynamic they no longer know how to communicate with you … and this is a GOOD thing. You simply have to stay the course, hold your boundary and continue to be kind.
- Create clear boundaries and stick to them. If certain friends feel inclined to sabotage your transformation goals masked in fun or peer pressure, set a clear boundary to say no. Don't fall victim to the sabotage. Don’t let people-pleasing or peer pressure disrupt your progress.
- Be aware of your “rewarding” or “cheating” behaviors. Many of these are also subconsciously used to get you back to your Source Belief. When you’ve made huge progress and start to feel amazing, it’s not uncommon for your brain to serve you a “reward message.” Unfortunately, this is NOT truly a reward - it’s your brain trying to start an immediate flow of “I’m not good enough” or “I’m a failure” direct to your veins.
If you’re ready to push the boundaries of your mental/emotional and spiritual growth, save your seat in Break Method's upcoming August 2018 semester.